The Scratching Post

I'd been having really unpleasant digestive symptoms for the past 6 months. Summarized without too much detail, it's been half a year of nearly non stop diarrhea/ loose stool. It's not resposive tochages in diet, or over the counter medication. The only reason I've been able to function at all, is a prescription strength anti-diarrheal pill. My PCP ran tests for parasites and bacterial infections, which turned up negative. So I finally went to a specialist who recommeded a colonoscopy. Which was yesterday.

The good news is that the pictures didn't show anything awful, which is also the bad news because I am now going to have to deal with more tests. That said, I did learn something pretty interesting about myself.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD five years ago, I went though a bunch of different mediactions to see what would work to manage my symptoms. I tried everythign from Ritalin to the fancy non-stimulant types, and the only thing that would work was generaic ass Adderal IR (immediate release).

Back then, my provider told me that my brain chemistry could possibly settle down in a few years and I could go on the extended release version of the medication. This would of course be very welcome because frankly, I'd rather take 1 pill, once a day, instead of .5 of a pill, 3x a day. Well, with the colonoscopy happening, I tried Adderall XR, and let me tell you it's still the same. I've been unable to concentrate, jittery as hell and crving nicotine for the first time in a year. It's having the exact opposite effect of what the immediate release version does. It's taken me nearly 2 hours to get this entry drafted up, which is a pretty clear illustration that the XR aint working.

So, while my guts are in full rebellion stiil, at leats my brain chemistry has settled into a reliably stable state?
Yay me.

Oh, and I've starte dmy own practice, but that's a different story for a different day.

Watching the election season heat up, I wish I could bring myself to care about the outcome of the Democratic primaries.
The reality however is that I will vote for whoever ends up getting the nomination, even though I really would rather it not be Clinton, because as a queer person of color I have no choice.

The GOP considers me less than, would strip me of legal protections up to and including the ability to use a public loo.
As many issues as I have with the Democrats, at least that party will let me pee.

The word to describe this situation is "pathetic".

And it doesn't feel any different.

Still processing the wedding, which wasn't a complete shit show, much to my surprise.

Will write more later

And we have a venue and a guest list with 30% RSVP rate.

And $400 in the bank.

Dear old dad is covering the food ( and the emotional blackmail has begun already).

I just want to elope.

[thud]

It's the middle of February and we are planning our November wedding. I'm the only one working, R is in shool full time. Even with a tiny, tiny budget of 2K, it's very hard to same money for anything even resembling a reception.

And then there's Pennsic.
Pennsic is home. It's 2 weeks of joy and recharging amongst people I consider more or less family. I haven't been able to afford to go since 2011. In 2012 R was in school and there was no money for me to go. In 2013 I was sitting the bar exam, and there was no money for me to go because R was in school and I was looking for work. In 2014 I had just started a job, and R was in school full time so we couldn't afford it. This year, R is taking an 8 week intensive at Middlebury at the cost of 10K, and we are saving for the wedding, so again, there's no money.

At this point, I'm starting to think it will never happen. And that hurts.

I get that R wants a proper wedding, with a reception and family and all that. I would be perfectly happy with an elopment.
But really, I just want to go home for 2 weeks.

Dill Pickle isn't doing well.

We had to take him back to the vet this morning, because there was fluid in his chest again.
That visit took up a large portion of our food budget for the month.
Our vet believes that the cause is either an extreme deterioration of his heart, or Lymphoma. At this point the focus is on palliative care, and being able to afford to euthanize him at home.


His bills have come up to over $3K, and there is likely more coming. We have maxed out the credit that is available to us, and we need help.

I personally feel like a failure for having to ask for financial help, but my partner has put together a Go Fund me page for him.

Please help if you can.

Thank you.

http://www.gofundme.com/b79tc0

I get a job and step away from LJ for a bit, and the whole interface changes.
Not sure if i like it.

In the past day I interviewed a second time for the family law job, won my motion against the big mean firm, and got the job.

Holy crap!

It's snowing in Portland, and its beautiful and I'm stuck inside, sick.
So unfair.