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Feb. 20th, 2012 02:44 pmIt's amazing to me that I have cried more and more easily after starting T than I ever have before.
I was reading some reflections on 9/11 on the UFT website, and almost ended up crying. I shed no tears on the day itself or the following year. I very rarely cried until I turned 20. That's when I started to transition.
It occurred to me recently that it's been 6 years since I went on T, and I still discover new and unexpected emotional angles and edges to myself.
I cry more easily, but that's just a symptom of a greater change, that being that I feel more. To tritely quote Shrek, "Orges are like onions." And I keep on discovering more and more layers to myself, and I keep on finding the wherewithal in myself to peel those layers back and see what's underneath.
No small part of it lately has been R. He sent me this the other day, asking if it's true for me.
First, consider how wonderful it is to have a partner to just gets it. It's incredibly liberating and affirming to not have to explain, to justify or somehow legitimize this part of myself to my partner.
Second, a large part if it IS true, especially this:
"And that it takes an enormous amount of strength to stand up and say that. To ask for it. To be good, giving and game sexually and get what I want. It takes courage to trust so completely that I can get what I want.
I was reading some reflections on 9/11 on the UFT website, and almost ended up crying. I shed no tears on the day itself or the following year. I very rarely cried until I turned 20. That's when I started to transition.
It occurred to me recently that it's been 6 years since I went on T, and I still discover new and unexpected emotional angles and edges to myself.
I cry more easily, but that's just a symptom of a greater change, that being that I feel more. To tritely quote Shrek, "Orges are like onions." And I keep on discovering more and more layers to myself, and I keep on finding the wherewithal in myself to peel those layers back and see what's underneath.
No small part of it lately has been R. He sent me this the other day, asking if it's true for me.
First, consider how wonderful it is to have a partner to just gets it. It's incredibly liberating and affirming to not have to explain, to justify or somehow legitimize this part of myself to my partner.
Second, a large part if it IS true, especially this:
"And that it takes an enormous amount of strength to stand up and say that. To ask for it. To be good, giving and game sexually and get what I want. It takes courage to trust so completely that I can get what I want.
Sometimes, the strongest decision you can make is the decision to not control things. To trust."
