(no subject)
Aug. 28th, 2007 02:55 amIts been months since I'd quit cigarettes and now I find myself craving them with a visceral, bone aching need.
I know I wont do it. I won't go out there and buy a pack, and yet I crave the sensation of the smoke filling up my lungs, choking my breath, coating my insides with a layer of poison. I ache for the release of calculated self destruction, slow motion suicide, control over SOMETHING, anything, even if it's my own undoing.
I wont do it , because when I do off myself, it'll be final, and not at all slow, but Jesus Christ on a cracker! Fucking addiction, there's no escape from it.
I know I wont do it. I won't go out there and buy a pack, and yet I crave the sensation of the smoke filling up my lungs, choking my breath, coating my insides with a layer of poison. I ache for the release of calculated self destruction, slow motion suicide, control over SOMETHING, anything, even if it's my own undoing.
I wont do it , because when I do off myself, it'll be final, and not at all slow, but Jesus Christ on a cracker! Fucking addiction, there's no escape from it.