Accounting for the year.

As a rule, i tend not to count the endsand tidy accounts once the year is done. Still, there is a  certain pull towards accounting for one's deeds and taking a look back, which seems to be, of now, irresistible.

So, what's changed in the past year?

I smoke more,
I drik a hella more, and neither of those is good for me. It's rather BAD
I'm closer to my father than i've been in a good seven years, and have yet to figure out if it's good for me, or bad. So, I've no clue.
I'm not a whole lot closer to getting de boobed, thanks to the bueucracy that is the CUNY, and that is BAD.On the other hand, it's only been rescheduled 'till June, which is very good.
I've gone on the path I've started last spring and nearly completely separated myself from the NYC trans community. It became a matter of academic survival last spring, and it came down to me finally understanding that activism doesn't keep one fed, while decent college grades do. Thus the grades took priority. I don't regret it, as i've never really fit into the politisized make up here at all. being a breathing political statement gets tedious, and those who do manage it usually have a partner to go home to. I do not, and am unlikely to get a partner anytime soon. Thus, it wasn't worth my personal losses from either the academic, or the emotional side. It was GOOD for me. Someone let me know why I still feel guilty over pulling out?
I'm not turning into a hermit just yet, but I've given in to my natural solitary state. I've realised I am a loner, and there's nothing wrong with it, regardless of what a shrink says. I still have my close frineds, but the bullshit was cut away and I am better for it. It was good.
I've aslo quit therapy, because it was doing nothing more than confuse me and make me insecure in my own identity. There's only so much questioning and interrogation one can take before one's personla security and mental health suffer. Two months later, I feel the best i've felt the whole year.

So all in all it wasn't a bad year. It was quirky and difficult, but all in all, I'm moving away from seeking a label to hide under and crafting my own, for which I am thankful. Not a wasted year at all, unless of course we count my weigt roller coasting 20 punds up and down.... but that's nothing new.